Archives for posts with tag: healing

“I can’t help other people feel valued until I know I am.” Kris Vallotton This little quote just hit my heart. My primary love language is words of encouragement. I love encouraging people and speaking into their lives. And in return I feel loved when people encourage me. 

Now, please hear me out! I’m going to be very transparent so if you feel that this article is about you, it’s not! My heart is to share what has set me free and to allow my journey to help others through theirs! 

I’ve been going through a season where there seems to be a drought of encouragement in my life. To tell you the truth, I’ve been feeling disappointment and even have been getting a little attitude with friends who used to be my source of life giving words. Now, the biggest lesson I learned was that I needed to get my encouragement and sense of value from God first and He has done that and will continue to do that so well! 

Nevertheless, as I read this quote I realized that first of all I expected people to make me feel valued when I really didn’t believe I was! It’s like feeding one single potato chip to a teenager- it’s not going to sate their hunger! While it’s great to receive words that build you up you can’t let those be your only source of building your identity. I think in order to replace feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem we need to draw both from God and others. It has to be balanced.

On the other hand, how can we expect others to show us how valued we are if they don’t even know they are? I realized I had placed expectations on people they couldn’t possibly fulfill! You can’t give what you yourself don’t have . Not getting what I thought I needed hurt my heart and almost destroyed dear friendships. 

My responsibility is to allow God full access into my being, take time to listen , really listen to His voice, dig for treasures in His word and then, and only then will I be able to make people feel valued because now I know I am valued! So dig in! Great treasure waits for you! 

Day one of the fast is behind us. I don’t know about you, but for me the first few days are tough physically. My body begins to detox and all those toxins are causing some symptoms I don’t like. There are those caffeine- withdrawal headaches, my kidneys are working overtime and causing my lower back to hurt and my body is dragging its feet, literally!
There are a few things I’ve learned over the past years to help with those things. First of all, please help your kidneys out by drinking lots of water! I also drink coconut water, as it is full of minerals the body needs. Another drink that will help your body detox quickly is detox tea. I drink Yogi peach detox. Trust me, it works wonders! Most of all, just hang on in there. After a few days you’ll feel great!
My pastor gave a great message on fasting last Sunday. There were many great points, but one jumped out at me. He said in order for us to move into our future we have to cut off ties from the past. This grabbed me because , for the past few weeks, I’ve been walking through a season of repentance, forgiving and healing. There were many areas God pointed out, but one stood out. It was my need to perform and be perfect. I had reasoned that my German upbringing was the cause of that and , to tell you the truth, I was even proud of it.
God showed me that my need for performance and perfection were caused by not trusting , trying to please people and not understanding God’s grace and mercy. This mindset had become a stronghold in my life, causing me to have to perform, become legalistic and not being able to be me! I felt I could have done more, didn’t do it right, felt like I had disappointed those around me, especially those in leadership . I didn’t realize how this mindset had blocked not only my freedom, but also Gods presence and anointing to flow in my life. I felt like I had to perform in order to earn those things.
Starting this fast, this was my major struggle. I saw what others were fasting and felt guilty because I wasn’t doing those things. Get it? I was performance focused, felling that I needed to earn Gods presence by “doing”! God encouraged me and let me know that I was fasting the way He wanted me to and to stop comparing myself to others.
Ok, you ask: What’s the point? Well, here it is .
Our unconfessed sins, our wrong attitudes, strongholds we’ve been imprisoned in for ages, are like boulders in us, blocking the flow of God’s presence, the anointing. We wonder why we can’t get freedom from addictions and unhealthy patterns. We struggle with apathy and lethargy. We feel oppressed and like we are carrying a heavy burden. We want to worship freely, pray in power, walk in freedom but there seems to be this blockage. We try to force our way around it just to encounter another boulder downstream. Life just doesn’t flow; it feels like a constant struggle.
Isaiah 58:6 talks about breaking every yoke through fasting and in verse 11 we are compared to a spring of water whose waters will not fail.
I am starting this fast by asking God to do a house cleaning in me. I’m giving Him permission to search me and show me the blockages that are preventing His presence to flow freely in me and through me. I want to be that spring of water that flows freely!
How about you? Are you tired of going though the same routine every day, fighting and struggling without victory?
Spend these first days of the fast asking God to put His finger on those blockages and when He shows you, just repent of having allowed them in your life, ask Him to forgive you , invite His presence into your heart and then watch life begin to flow freely again!
It’s God’s kindness that causes us to repent. He’s not mad at you and desires to bring freedom to you! You’ve been bound long enough; go after the freedom you crave!

I have a confession to make. I don’t have it all together!
I can fool myself and others for a little while. But life, and God, have a way of bringing me back to reality.
Now, , you ask yourself, what is the big deal about that? Nobody has it all together.
You’re absolutely right. So why do we spend so much of our energy and time pretending that we do?
Let me tell you what brought on this deep revelation ( sarcasm!).
A week ago my back started hurting. Now, I have a history of back problems, surgeries included. I was even told by a well earning but ignorant doctor that I’d be in a wheelchair by now. So when my back started hurting my mind went places that weren’t pretty . As the days progressed without relief of the pain my mind began to wander into the land of worry, fear and hopelessness. Now I need to let you know that I used to live in that land. I was a certified , passport holding citizen of it. It took a long journey for me to leave and take up residence in the land of hope, trust and faith. So when I found myself back in my old stomping grounds it threw me for a loop. How could it be that I had so quickly reverted to these old mindsets?
Well, I had begun to become relaxed, dropped my guard and thought the old country had miraculously disappeared. I became lax in my time with God, my devotional time became superficial and prayer…. well, let’s just say that because life was calm and good I neglected my conversation time with God.
You know, there’s nothing like pain to bring you right back to your knees. It amazed me that when I literally got on my knees and face before God my back started to feel better. My muscles stretched out and the pain eased.
What’s so sad is that when life is good we don’t see the need to spend time with the One who cares and loves us . We become spiritual slackers. Look, I’m not pointing fingers! This simple revelation hit my heart deeply!
So I choose to pack my bags and headed back home to hope, peace, trust and faith. I realized in order to remain there I had to get my mind right, to choose every morning, every moment to focus on the Truth, to find out what that truth was and hold on to it with all I’ve got. No more trips down the highway of doubt and negativity.
Im choosing to set up camp in His courts, focus on Him in good times and tough times.