“I can’t help other people feel valued until I know I am.” Kris Vallotton This little quote just hit my heart. My primary love language is words of encouragement. I love encouraging people and speaking into their lives. And in return I feel loved when people encourage me. 

Now, please hear me out! I’m going to be very transparent so if you feel that this article is about you, it’s not! My heart is to share what has set me free and to allow my journey to help others through theirs! 

I’ve been going through a season where there seems to be a drought of encouragement in my life. To tell you the truth, I’ve been feeling disappointment and even have been getting a little attitude with friends who used to be my source of life giving words. Now, the biggest lesson I learned was that I needed to get my encouragement and sense of value from God first and He has done that and will continue to do that so well! 

Nevertheless, as I read this quote I realized that first of all I expected people to make me feel valued when I really didn’t believe I was! It’s like feeding one single potato chip to a teenager- it’s not going to sate their hunger! While it’s great to receive words that build you up you can’t let those be your only source of building your identity. I think in order to replace feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem we need to draw both from God and others. It has to be balanced.

On the other hand, how can we expect others to show us how valued we are if they don’t even know they are? I realized I had placed expectations on people they couldn’t possibly fulfill! You can’t give what you yourself don’t have . Not getting what I thought I needed hurt my heart and almost destroyed dear friendships. 

My responsibility is to allow God full access into my being, take time to listen , really listen to His voice, dig for treasures in His word and then, and only then will I be able to make people feel valued because now I know I am valued! So dig in! Great treasure waits for you!